Healing After a Miscarriage
Grief is a complex and deeply personal journey, especially when it comes to the loss experienced after a miscarriage. This heart-wrenching experience can leave individuals and couples grappling with a range of emotions that may seem overwhelming. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with grief, The BirthPlace at Conway Medical Center offers some strategies that can help navigate the challenging path toward healing after a miscarriage and hope.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise – sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, or even numbness. Each person’s response is unique, and it’s important to understand that all feelings are valid. Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.
Depression and anxiety are common after pregnancy loss. It’s not uncommon for either partner to experience persistent sadness and anxiety for up to a year. These feelings can be especially intense if the pregnancy was long-awaited. Give yourself permission to grieve and honor your baby’s life no matter how short it may have been by embracing your emotions.
Seek Support
Experiencing the loss of a pregnancy, infant, or child brings unimaginable pain, grief, and isolation. Grief should never be endured alone. Reach out to your partner, family members, friends, or a therapist who can offer a compassionate ear and a safe space to express your emotions. Sharing your feelings can alleviate some of the burden and remind you that you’re not alone in your pain.
Support groups are also a great way to receive non-judgmental support, information, and connection with others who have experienced similar loss. Sharing stories, listening to others, and gaining insights from people who’ve walked a similar path can be incredibly comforting. Your shared experiences give you common ground to explore your feelings and emotions and to find comfort and other methods of coping.
Here are some online support resources you may find helpful:
- Hope Mommies – a non-profit organization whose sole purpose is to come alongside moms and families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and/or infant loss, bringing comfort, encouragement, companionship, and hope as they continue to walk this side of eternity without their beloved son or daughter.
- Miscarriage Matters – a community of parents who have experienced the loss of their child/children, willing to offer our friendship and a listening ear.
- Rachel’s Gift– provides support and guidance for caregivers and families enduring pregnancy and infant loss.
- Return to Zero – provides compassionate and holistic support for people who have experienced unimaginable loss during their journey to parenthood. (resources in Spanish and other languages available)
- Return to Zero: LGBTQIA+ – Support for LGBTQIA+ families
- SHARE Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support – mission to provide support toward positive resolution of grief experienced at the time of, or following the death of a baby. This support encompasses emotional, physical, spiritual, and social healing, as well as sustaining the family unit.
- Sisters in Loss – dedicated to replacing silence with storytelling around pregnancy and infant loss and infertility of black women.
- Star Legacy Foundation – virtual grief support groups for family members who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss (group in Spanish available)
Validate Your Experience
Unfortunately, miscarriage is often surrounded by societal silence and stigma. As a result, healing after miscarriage can feel isolating. It’s crucial to remember that your experience is valid and your grief is real. It’s okay to talk about your loss and seek understanding from those around you.
People may not know what to say even when you share and openly discuss your loss. Even relatives and close friends can say hurtful things unintentionally, which can contribute to you and your partner feeling more isolated.
At the same time, you may see other friends in your circle getting pregnant and safely delivering. Seeing others celebrate life while in a season of loss is unavoidable but can be deeply painful. Creating both healthy boundaries and open spaces for grief can help you and your partner nurture your recovery.
Practice Self-Care
Caring for yourself during this time is essential. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and joy, whether it’s reading, taking walks, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing creative outlets. Nourishing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being can help ease the weight of grief.
Give Yourself Time
Grief doesn’t have a fixed timeline. It’s important to remember that healing is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and allow the waves of emotions to ebb and flow naturally. Avoid putting pressure on yourself to “move on” within a specific timeframe.
Create Rituals
Creating meaningful rituals can help you honor the memory of your lost pregnancy and find closure. Lighting a candle, planting a tree, writing a letter, or creating a scrapbook can provide a tangible outlet for your feelings and allow you to hold space for your grief.
Be Compassionate to Yourself
Grief can sometimes manifest in feelings of guilt, self-blame, or inadequacy. Remember that you are not at fault. It’s important to treat yourself with kindness and offer the same empathy you would extend to a friend going through a difficult time.
Consider Professional Help
If your grief feels unmanageable, seeking help from a mental health professional can be immensely beneficial. Therapists with experience in grief counseling can provide tools and strategies to help you sort through the complicated emotions and grief from pregnancy loss. If you have a history of depression or anxiety, they can help you address and manage potential reoccurrences and symptoms while navigating the complex emotions tied to miscarriage and healing after miscarriage.
Focus on Hope and Healing
As challenging as it may seem, remember that healing is possible. While the pain of loss may never fully fade, it can become less acute over time. Allow yourself to gradually shift your focus toward hope, the possibility of future joy, and the strength you’ve gained from enduring this difficult journey.
Remember that most women can get pregnant again. Around 85% of women who experience pregnancy loss will go on to have healthy pregnancies, according to the American Pregnancy Association. It may take time before you are emotionally ready to try again, but allow yourself the comfort of knowing that for most, a baby can still be in your future.
Proactive Support for Your Needs
Grief is a testament to the depth of our love and connection. While it may feel like an insurmountable mountain to climb, with time, support, and self-care, it’s possible to find solace, healing, and a renewed sense of strength after experiencing a miscarriage. You are not defined by your loss; you are defined by your courage to heal and find hope again.
At The BirthPlace at CMC, we are committed to comprehensive care ensuring that every mom receives the support she deserves either fostering an empowering start to her journey through motherhood or healing from an unexpected loss. You can utilize our Yomingo app to access a variety of educational resources to assist you through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care including sections on mental health and pregnancy loss. Download our FREE app today.
